Tiny Rant

You know what really annoys me? When women are complaining about how much help they need at home with the day to day and they say, "What I need is a wife."

Boy, does that piss me off.

I hate that the word "wife" is considered a natural companion to "housework", "kids", "daily bullshit."

My husband and I both work full time, but his schedule is more open during the day. He takes my daughter to school every day and picks her up. He is getting better at pigtails and braids all the time. He takes her to soccer, he does the grocery shopping and the dishes and the laundry. I know sometimes it gets to him; I know it's tough.

If he EVER said that his life would be easier if he had a "wife", I would take him apart. But it would never occur to him to say that. It seems to be mostly women who use "wife" in such a manner, and I don't know man, it just irks the shit out of me.

It seems so fucking sexist. I don't know if it is being anti-sexism (like that's a thing. Is anyone pro-sexism?) or my personal situation that make me feel this way. I hate it. HATE IT.

Lump

Yesterday, I found a small (pencil eraser) sized lump under my armpit. It is deep under the skin, so I know it is not a pimple or an ingrown hair. It is not red and it doesn't hurt at all. You can't actually see it but you can feel it without putting pressure on it.

I don't have a family doctor; I never get sick so if I need a prescription I usually go to the clinic at the grocery store.

I am quietly freaking out. I don't know who to call or where to go. I haven't even told my husband or my sister because I am usually the one to talk them down and I am just not capable right now.

It's nothing, right? It's nothing.It's nothing.It's nothing.It's nothing.

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Update

Oh my god, I didn't realize that was my last post, and that I left it up for so long. It was nothing. Well, not nothing, but it was benign. All's well now.

Inauguration Day 09

We are leaving bright and early tomorrow, heading down to DC for the inauguration. My husband's brother got us tickets to the swearing in ceremony and I am super excited.

I am 30 years old. I turned 18 in October of 1996 and in November I voted for Bill Clinton. I was glad he won, but too young/inexperienced/naive to think much about our government or our country of what it means to vote.

I voted for Al Gore in 2000 and was promptly jaded. I didn't even vote in 04. I wasn't loving Kerry and I live in a die hard blue state, so I convinced myself it didn't matter whether I voted or not. I had miscarried in September and again in October and was bearly leaving the house for anything, anyway. I regret it.

This year, this November, this Election Day, I arrived at the polling place before it opened. I couldn't wait to cast my vote. President-elect Obama has inspired me and I can't wait to see him take his oath of office.

I don't really want to get into reasons here, although this blog is more anonymous than my other blog, but I am just unbelievable souped.

I am going to be twittering, but I don't want to give out my twitter account here, just watch #inaug09.

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Unrelated: I am posting this from my new mini-laptop or net book or whatever and I am super excited about that too. No more blackberry posting, which was making me crazy.

Update-y

My baby is in bed now. She only cried for 20 minutes tonight but she is still awake. It has been almost three hours. Better but still not good.

My husband is currently effing around with the ceiling fan in our family room. It broke like 18 months ago and we just bought a new one yesterday. Excepting about eight hours for sleep, he has been at it for 24 hours. I tried to help him yesterday but that resulted in a lot of yelling and hurt feelings.

Unfortunately, the man is not handy. Even more unfortunately, he doesn't seem to know it. I am very handy. But some bizarre combination of sexism and pride prevents him from allowing me to do anything but hold stuff.

So now he is still in there jerking around with it and I am in here listening to the baby sing to herself.

I have been on vacation since December 23 and I go back tomorrow. I hope I get up on time.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I need some help before I lose my fucking mind

My daughter is three years old. We moved her from her crib to a toddler bed about a year ago. It was a little early but I had abdominal surgery and I couldn't lift her over the rail.

It went fine for a few months, but never mind fuck it

I can't tell the whole story because it is long and boring. The point is that a few weeks ago she started claiming that her belly hurts when she is alone and she needs someone to lay with her. Either my husband or I lie down with her until she falls asleep. She usually wakes up in the middle of the night and comes in our bed. By morning my husband is usually on the floor or sofa. She kicks out all night. We both work. The family bed is not for us

We decided to break her of this and now she has been crying for two hours straight. I know that is to be expected but she keeps choking and hyper ventilating.

I would really appreciate any advice or just words of encouragement. Please, before I lose it.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Late

Everyone in my family is always late. Except me.

Since I am always on time, none of them know what it is like to sit alone in your house a half hour after the scheduled start time wondering if anyone is even coming.

I do. It sucks.

I Said I Wasn't Going to Write About Work Here

You guys, I don't know which way is up sometimes.

My job is a ridiculous mess. My boss got fired in April for something that wasn't exactly illeagal, but was definitely unethical. We lost a million dollar account over it, and he was canned. I took over his entire job in addition to my own with no promotion or raise and the implication that I had better not even bother asking. In this economy they are relieved to be rid of a six figure salary.

This other guy in my office is mad at me because I am now in charge of all the high profile stuff and he has his same old crap job. Like that's my fault. I work my ass off and I make myself available for whatever needs to be done, while all he does is complain that he has too much work. Why would anyone assign him additional responsibilities? Any time I give anything to our shared clerk, he runs over to her and asks her what it was and why I can't do it myself. It is making me crazy.

So my old boss called me today and offered me a job where he ended up. It is more money and 20 minutes closer to my house. Less security though, I guess. I don't know if I want to even work with him again. He wasn't a bad boss but obviously his methods can be questionable. And the only reason I wasn't fired right with him is that I sent him an email before he did what he did warning him against it. A friend in the IT department told me that he pulled it off my email and provided it to the executive committee when they asked him to find proof that I was complicit. I don't know if Old Boss stood up for me even when he knew he was on his way out but it sure doesn't sound like it.

So I don't think I want to go, but it sure is hard to turn down more money and a shorter commute right now.

To top it all off, my husband's job is going to start laying people off soon, and while I am sure his job is secure now, it won't be forever. He is a writer in print media. He was just offered what sounds like a great freelancing opportunity, but the money is based on subscribers and therefore not guaranteed. He needs to move towards online and we are not sure if this is the way to do it.

Ugh

Sorry if this is incoherent, I am STILL posting from my bb. Cablevision sucks