Lump

Yesterday, I found a small (pencil eraser) sized lump under my armpit. It is deep under the skin, so I know it is not a pimple or an ingrown hair. It is not red and it doesn't hurt at all. You can't actually see it but you can feel it without putting pressure on it.

I don't have a family doctor; I never get sick so if I need a prescription I usually go to the clinic at the grocery store.

I am quietly freaking out. I don't know who to call or where to go. I haven't even told my husband or my sister because I am usually the one to talk them down and I am just not capable right now.

It's nothing, right? It's nothing.It's nothing.It's nothing.It's nothing.

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Update

Oh my god, I didn't realize that was my last post, and that I left it up for so long. It was nothing. Well, not nothing, but it was benign. All's well now.

Inauguration Day 09

We are leaving bright and early tomorrow, heading down to DC for the inauguration. My husband's brother got us tickets to the swearing in ceremony and I am super excited.

I am 30 years old. I turned 18 in October of 1996 and in November I voted for Bill Clinton. I was glad he won, but too young/inexperienced/naive to think much about our government or our country of what it means to vote.

I voted for Al Gore in 2000 and was promptly jaded. I didn't even vote in 04. I wasn't loving Kerry and I live in a die hard blue state, so I convinced myself it didn't matter whether I voted or not. I had miscarried in September and again in October and was bearly leaving the house for anything, anyway. I regret it.

This year, this November, this Election Day, I arrived at the polling place before it opened. I couldn't wait to cast my vote. President-elect Obama has inspired me and I can't wait to see him take his oath of office.

I don't really want to get into reasons here, although this blog is more anonymous than my other blog, but I am just unbelievable souped.

I am going to be twittering, but I don't want to give out my twitter account here, just watch #inaug09.

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Unrelated: I am posting this from my new mini-laptop or net book or whatever and I am super excited about that too. No more blackberry posting, which was making me crazy.

Update-y

My baby is in bed now. She only cried for 20 minutes tonight but she is still awake. It has been almost three hours. Better but still not good.

My husband is currently effing around with the ceiling fan in our family room. It broke like 18 months ago and we just bought a new one yesterday. Excepting about eight hours for sleep, he has been at it for 24 hours. I tried to help him yesterday but that resulted in a lot of yelling and hurt feelings.

Unfortunately, the man is not handy. Even more unfortunately, he doesn't seem to know it. I am very handy. But some bizarre combination of sexism and pride prevents him from allowing me to do anything but hold stuff.

So now he is still in there jerking around with it and I am in here listening to the baby sing to herself.

I have been on vacation since December 23 and I go back tomorrow. I hope I get up on time.
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I need some help before I lose my fucking mind

My daughter is three years old. We moved her from her crib to a toddler bed about a year ago. It was a little early but I had abdominal surgery and I couldn't lift her over the rail.

It went fine for a few months, but never mind fuck it

I can't tell the whole story because it is long and boring. The point is that a few weeks ago she started claiming that her belly hurts when she is alone and she needs someone to lay with her. Either my husband or I lie down with her until she falls asleep. She usually wakes up in the middle of the night and comes in our bed. By morning my husband is usually on the floor or sofa. She kicks out all night. We both work. The family bed is not for us

We decided to break her of this and now she has been crying for two hours straight. I know that is to be expected but she keeps choking and hyper ventilating.

I would really appreciate any advice or just words of encouragement. Please, before I lose it.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry